


As American As

by DoctorV



Series: Archive: Doc's Old-Ass Comics Fic (DC, JLU, etc.) [50]
Category: Booster Gold (Comics), Captain America (Comics), DCU, DCU - Comicverse, Extreme Justice (comic), Justice League, Justice League International (Comic)
Genre: 90s, EXTREME!, ExtremeJustice!Booster, Ken Doll Anatomy, LIEFEEEEELD!, Liefeld!Cap, M/M, Other, Parody, Tentacles, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-09-08
Updated: 2006-09-08
Packaged: 2019-05-15 03:04:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14782454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DoctorV/pseuds/DoctorV
Summary: Bulging muscles! Clenched teeth! Tentacles! EXTREME 90S MANLINESS! Are you MAN ENOUGH to read TWO BUFF DUDES getting FRISKY with TENTACLES?!(There is not enough apology in the world to make up for this horror.)





	As American As

**Author's Note:**

> Archiving some old old OLD fanfic of mine. This was originally posted to LiveJournal 09/08/2006, with the author's note:  
> "This fic pretty much farts in the face of anything resembling good taste. It's not just Cap/Booster, it's _Liefeld!_ Cap/ _ExtremeJustice!_ Booster. It's all that, _with_ Booster's tentacle-rific Extreme Justice suit inhabited by Skeets, which probably somehow makes it a threesome. Seriously. It's bad. You've been warned.  
>  In an attempt to explain myself...it's all chameleongirl79's fault! Erm, but to clarify, there started [a conversation](http://doctorv.livejournal.com/79058.html?thread=255954#t255954) in which tentacles were being discussed. And then chameleongirl79's horrific, animated, _pulsating_ Liefeld!Cap icon happened. Then discussion of Cap/tentacles, which led to chameleongirl79 bemoaning the fact that she had thought of Cap/Booster  & tentacle suit. Which then...um...led me to writing a horrible, horrible thing. ...And then apathocles took it a step further. So yes, half of this terrifying monstrosity was written by apathocles (and I am so very glad to share credit). To see it in its original, comment-fic form, [click HERE](http://doctorv.livejournal.com/79058.html?thread=271058#t271058).  
> And now, a final warning: No I'm not kidding, it is to literature what Liefeld is to art. Don't come crying to me when your eyes boil out your skull."
> 
> Hey, Apathocles! If you see this and have an actual Ao3 account LMK and I'll add you as a co-creator. I'm sure you're eager to take credit for your half of this monstrosity. ;)

Cap's massive pecs quivered with anticipation, seeming almost to have a mind of their own. His eyes narrowed as he narrowly eyed the golden-suited figure before him, suspicious of the small, gently waving gilded tentacles.

 

"Who are you?" Cap demanded, teeth clenched with manliness as he threw out his chest challengingly. A full-body flex of muscles rippled over his massive body.

 

"Who wants to know?" the shining golden embodiment of manhood shot back, teeth clenched as well. The waving of his suit's tentacles seemed to grow more purposeful as they stretched out further, as if feeling out the air like the antennae of some auric insect.

 

"Captain _America_ ," Cap growled, voice deepening with national pride, and testosterone. At the name of his great nation, he felt almost hyper-sensitive to his suit, covering him from well-veined head to dainty foot in the colors of his country's flag. God, baseball, and Mom's apple _pie_ that was hot.

 

"Any relation to Captain _Atom_?" asked the man, whose hair shone and rippled like amber waves of grain.

 

"None," Cap replied through still-clenched teeth, then took a step forward, body clenching in readiness, and barked, "I ask again, _who are you?!_ "

 

No sooner had he asked his question, muscles bulging with the force of his words, than the golden tentacles shot forth from the man's suit to wrap around Cap's well-muscled limbs. They pulled him close as he writhed and strained to free himself. When they were nearly nose-to-nose, the man bared his teeth in what Cap initially mistook for clenching ferocity, but then realize was a grin.

 

"I'm Booster Gold," the man said, even as the gilded suckers of his suit's tentacles sucked at Cap's body. "And I'm feeling... _patriotic_."

 

Cap unclenched.

 

The gleaming hero with hair the colour of liquid sunshine let his tentacles move down over his comrade's engorged musculature, lingering when they got to that taut, lumpy, _fabulous_ all-American ass.

 

As much as he hated to release his hold on Cap's bulgy, quivering manflesh, he briefly spared a couple of tentacles to rip Captain America's costume apart from behind, shredded red, white, and blue fluttering gallantly to the ground.

 

Booster worked one glimmering golden tentacle down between two improbably-muscled cheeks, and the Guardian of All Things Wholesome and _clenched_ again, gargantuan veins _throbbing_ visibly in his dubious neck, stumbling as Lilliputian feet struggled to hold the weight of his pulsating, asymmetrical body. He grimaced and grunted in a deeply masculine fashion; whether it was pleasure, pain, or a particularly nasty case of constipation, the Effulgent Enforcer could not be certain.

 

But the shield was so very hard, vibrating between the two of them as Booster leaned in, licking that perfectly tiny nose, those cadaverous cheekbones. Cap's chest swelled and tumefied with each vigorous thrust of the tentacle, and the scintillating young paragon of manhood thrust forwards, too, hurling the star-spangled shield out of the way so he could reach between Cap's robust legs and grab....

 

He paused. Felt around again. There was supposed to be something there. Something strapping and virile, not this, this, _concavity_.

 

Cap grimaced, or clenched, or possibly Cabled.

 

"Yeah, about that...."


End file.
